The water element is often thought of as the beginning and end of all cycles, as it signifies death and rebirth; the coming and going of all things and all experiences. The emotion of water is fear, and as we see when looking at the different cycles of elements – generating, controlling, insulting, it becomes apparent how this core first step of fear creates many emotional states that we experience. It also sets us up for how we might view the world and interact with it.
Fear (Water) Gives Rise to Anger (Wood)
When we find ourselves stuck in the emotion of anger, perhaps it's the go-to emotion experienced. To develop more self-awareness of this pattern, we need to look to the mother of wood – water. We can't have anger without fear showing up first.
Anger is the response to fear; fear is the physiological response to danger; and anger is the motivator that is designed to keep us safe. Anger says, "I'm afraid and I need to protect myself."
To deepen our self-awareness, when we notice anger coming up in our system, we can take a pause and simply ask: What is the fear I am having right now? Just this simple reflection can help initiate transformation of the emotional experience and our ability to respond, instead of react.
Grief (Metal) Moves to Fear (Water)
If a person does not fully process and release grief, this gives rise to fear. The pain of grief often leads to us not wanting to fully address and heal the experience, trauma or events that led to the grief in the first place. In this denial, we create new fears or cement in previously held fear.
In the five emotions and elements, grief is the emotion most associated with pain. It's a natural step to want to avoid pain, which is what creates fear. Either we don't want to experience this pain again and create a fear of whatever occurred that caused the grief, or our preoccupation with avoiding this pain lends to a fear of what "could" happen if we tried to heal – the ultimate fear of the unknown.
The insulting cycle gives us information as to how we interact with others in the world. Our interpersonal and inter-community relationships are shaped by the insulting cycle. It shapes how we see others, ourselves and the world as a whole.
When looking at fear, we notice a pattern of how issues like close-mindedness, hatred and intolerance exist. Fear quite simply is the catalyst for a closed heart. In not allowing for compassion and connection, it isolates us further.
Fear Inhibits Sympathy
When we fear someone or something, it becomes even harder to relate to it. This is the foundational elemental issue that results in racism, homophobia, etc. At the core, we aren't fully understanding a different person; and fearing what we don't understand is a seemingly natural reaction. I don't understand you; therefore I fear you.
When we do this, we are stuck in fear and then are more removed from being able to make a connection. This fear inhibits our ability to connect – to have empathy and sympathy toward others.
In the controlling cycle, overthinking can help us overcome fear temporarily. A healthier version of this might be to have a temporary curiosity or a "faked" sympathy to try to see another as a human; and in turn, perhaps we actually do see them that way and can release the fear in the process.
Anxiety Provokes Fear
This dynamic relates closely to the water-earth insulting cycle in the realm of relationships, in that it can prevent us from getting to truly know someone. When we experience anxiety, it tends to be a closely linked experience with fear. In this case the anxiety-fire is steaming the water-fear and fueling it, dispersing it and helping it grow. Anxiety is propelled fear.
When the fire element grows out of control and turns from joy to mania, and overthinking and anxiety, this feeds straight into the water element, causing our fears to balloon out of control and become consuming.
Practical Takeaway
The virtue of the water element is wisdom, which comes from facing our fears, not pushing them away or running from them. To be wise is not to avoid experience; it's to dive right in, even when we are afraid. Inherent in wisdom is curiosity ... a genuine desire to see and experience all things even when they aren't so pleasant.
We become wise not because of our age, but because of how we've dealt with, moved through and handled our experiences. When we truly embrace an experience, no matter how uncomfortable, we gain wisdom and insight; we are able to tap into the tao, the all-encompassing energy that flows through all things and all experience. We may be able to see our role in any situation, what we have learned or might learn from specific experiences. This is true wisdom.
Editor's Note: This is the fifth article on the elements of emotion by Dr. Peirano; see her online columnist page (see link below) for previous articles in the series.
Click here for more information about Kim Peirano, DACM, LAc.